If you want career, financial, and social success, don’t beat up your opponents too badly while smiling if you know what’s good for you. This advice might sound odd, but not adhering to it can have tremendous negative consequences.
Anyone who has ever jet-skied knows it’s impossible not to smile while riding the waves. Well, I can’t help but smile when I’m playing any sport because sports bring me immense joy—sometimes to the detriment of my opponents.
However, since none of us are turning pro, there’s no need to take sports so seriously when playing as adults. We’re there to have fun and avoid injury!
At 47, all I want to do is play a sport and walk away injury-free. It’s a scintillating feeling of getting away with something–in this case, pain and suffering.
Beating Up Your Opponent Badly Can Show Low Emotional Intelligence
When I worked in finance from 1999 to 2012, I would regularly play tennis with clients. Tennis was a way of getting to know someone while doing something fun.
Tennis is tricky because for both sides to have fun, they need to be at a similar skill level, within about 25% of each other. If you’re the better player, you can get bored if your opponent can’t keep the ball in play. But if your less-skilled opponent is a client, you need to have fun and keep the points close.
Instead of beating up your client badly, play “business development tennis” and keep the points close. Your goal is not to pummel your opponent and make them feel like failures. Instead, your goal is for both sides to have an enjoyable experience.
However, if you’re the better player, you can’t make it obvious that you’re purposefully keeping the points close. Otherwise, your opponent may feel patronized, potentially damaging
